I remember dining with Mika at a local Subway many years ago. What I remember is talking to the young man who made us our sandwiches. The young man spoke to us with enthusiasm about his ambition. He dreamed of joining the Canadian Army to train in the infantry to join Joint Task Force 2--a special forces unit in the Canadian Army. As he detailed his ambition, he commented on an incident involving the Canadian Army in Somalia. In short, there were prisoners taken by the Canadian soldiers in Somalia who were abused while in custody. The abuse of their human rights was not tolerated; some of the soldiers involved were court-martialed and jailed. The young man opined earnestly that respect for human rights gets in the way of the Canadian Army doing its job.

When he finished speaking, I smiled and gently offered some constructive criticism. "Remember," I said, "as a Canadian soldier, you defend our society and what we value. Canadians value and uphold respect for human rights." The young man looked taken aback as my words sank in, but he took to heart what I told him. I think he understood and accepted my genial criticism of his point of view. I do not know if he succeeded in joining the Canadian Army, but I hope he is happy wherever he is today.

I think of the exchange I had with the young man when I get into discussions with people online. I get that people feel strongly about their opinions, to the extent that they are convinced their view is correct, excluding any other at times. Such dogmatic thinking is hard to withstand. I am called names and insulted frequently by others in various internet forums for sharing my thoughts. I take it in stride. I make a point of not being snide and point out that treating people who disagree this way does little to win them over. I listen to what other people say, and I heed their comments and criticism of my posts. I stand by what I write but concede when shown I am in error. I am not personally infallible. If people could stop and listen to what others think and pause before responding, imagine what we could learn. Discussion and debate are worthy pastimes. I wish more people understood there is a place for constructive criticism and correction in discourse. In the end, is it so unreasonable to ask, "can't we talk this over?"

Some remember Barry Goldwater as a principled conservative and for having embraced libertarianism. Others recognize him as an extremist for having done so. In accepting the nomination as the Republican presidential candidate in 1964, he stated, “I would remind you that extremism in the defence of liberty is no vice. And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.” He was a principled man who had a clear sense of right and wrong when it came to issues of personal liberty and civil rights. For some, however, the application of his libertarian views, notably in his advocacy for gay rights, misrepresents conservatism in that it undermined what to many conservatives are considered generally accepted standards and social norms regarding human sexuality.

Goldwater made his position clear on the matter in stating, “the conservative movement, to which I subscribe, has as one of its basic tenets the belief that government should stay out of people’s private lives. Government governs best when it governs least – and stays out of the impossible task of legislating morality. But legislating someone’s version of morality is exactly what we do by perpetuating discrimination against gays.” Moreover, he was forthright in his support for gays serving in the US military, observing, “everyone knows that gays have served honorably in the military since at least the time of Julius Caesar. They’ll still be serving long after we’re all dead and buried. That should not surprise anyone.”

For some, it looks as though Goldwater was promoting homosexuality, the gay lifestyle in all its unbridled hedonism, all in the name of civil liberties, to the detriment of the traditional values and community standards many conservatives value. From this point of view, one might view Goldwater as more of a libertine than a libertarian. Unfortunately, such stereotypes concerning gay people prevail, that and the outrageous assertion that homosexuality is a disorder. The reality, as Goldwater knew, is that gay people are not disordered and most only want to take their place in society and participate fully and openly. In winning the right to serve openly in the military and pursuing the right to marry, gay people are embracing the very same traditions and community standards that Goldwater’s critics endorse, not repudiating them.

I posted this comment and the accompanying video on a group frequented by feminists. My post got plenty of likes from the feminists--though I think they missed the point entirely. The point is that boys thrive on competition and discipline as this builds confidence. It does not matter if it is in ballet or in sports such as ice hockey or football. Boys need structure and the ability to build confidence and grow into men. I think that all that the feminists saw is a boy dancing ballet, and jumped to the conclusion that he is emasculated.

The boy in the video is confident, enjoys competition with other boys, is disciplined and applies himself at dancing ballet--this is masculinity. If he is allowed to continue in this vein, I expect that he will be successful in life as he grows up.

I brought home Stella, my eight week old Brittany puppy last Saturday. She is a dear little dog, and very clever. She mastered the stairs on the porch in the garden almost immediately. She is boldly climbing the steep river bank at the edge of the Rideau River where I run her and my six year old Brittany, Hera. I am on leave from work this week to spend time with Hera and Stella to help them adjust to life in my household together. This morning I took them for a run by the river. It was quiet when I got there. At one point during the run, we came across a man I had not seen before. He parked on Revelstoke Road and had a Golden Retriever on leash. He gave me a baleful look as he took his dog to an entrance to the park a short distance away from me and my dogs. "Fine," I thought, "he is not particularly sociable." I moved on with Hera and Stella toward the river. When we got to the river we found the man and his Golden Retriever at the edge of the river. The man prepared to play ball with his dog. Next thing I knew, the man complained his dog is "uneasy around other dogs." When you are a dog owner, you run up against people like this from time-to-time. It leaves you wondering why people like this insist on bringing their dogs to dog parks. I am no pushover, but I know when to pick my battles. I called Hera and with Stella at my side we continued our run in another direction. There is plenty of space in the park for everyone. Also, I make sure the daily run for my dogs is fun for them. If this means walking away from an annoying stranger, rather than standing my ground, so be it.

A group of high school boys on a field trip to Washington DC waited, minding their own business as they milled on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial for the bus to take them home. Some of the boys wore MAGA hats they bought from a street vendor; presumably as souvenirs from their trip to DC. The boys are accosted by two groups of grownups who hurled abuse at them. The boys responded in belting out a school chant to drown out the abuse coming from the Black Hebrew Israelites. The boys laughed off the taunts from the Native protesters who invaded their space. One of the boys stood calmly while an old man beat a drum in his face and sang something unintelligible.

Irresponsible news organizations pushed out a scurrilous narrative that it was the boys who accosted the Black Hebrew Israelites and the Native protesters. In doing so they incited a frenzy of insane hatred and death threats against the boys, one boy (Nicholas Sandmann) in particular. The truth came out in short order. The boys did nothing wrong. Among other things, the elderly Native man is exposed as a liar. Defamation lawsuits are pending against those behind the libelous narrative. I hope the people who rushed to judgment--for no other reason than it is white high school boys who were falsely accused of wrongdoing--will stop and think about their racist assumptions.

 I really enjoyed reading the novels in the series "Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators" by Robert Arthur as a boy. These are very well written mystery stories for young readers. Of the three characters in the novels, the Third Investigator, Bob Andrews, was my favourite. His job, as his title on the The Three Investigators business card indicates, was records and research. He maintained the files, typing up reports of the Investigator's cases and worked part-time in a library. He also gathered information for the Investigators as they worked on cases. Once in a while I like to read the novels anew as I still find them entertaining. The character of Bob Andrews resonates with me all these years later as records and research is what I do for a living as a librarian and blogger. In the library I create and manage catalogue records for music scores and sound recordings. I use the skills I acquired in library school in carrying out my own research for the articles I publish. Who knew all those years ago when I read these novels that like Bob Andrews, records and research would become my vocation.

I am no white knight. What made me think of this is an incident, a robbery in progress, I witnessed in the spring of 1996. It was a rainy Saturday morning as I drove to work at the Cumberland Public Library. Despite the rain I had the window open in my car and as I made my way down Percy Street, just past Gladstone, I heard a woman screaming. I glanced in the direction of her screams and saw her chasing a man running away as fast as he could. The two of them turned at the corner of Percy and McLeod Streets and I followed in my car. I drove up alongside the woman who stood in the rain, gasping for breath. She told me between gasps that she and another woman were waiting at a bus stop on Gladstone when a man snatched the other woman's purse. She gave chase, screaming, in an effort to draw attention to the robbery. The mugger dropped the purse as he ran off and the woman retrieved it. I asked her to take a seat in the passenger seat of my car, offering her shelter from the rain, while we waited for the police to respond. Before long I saw a police car in the distance and flagged it down. The woman police constable drove up and after I explained what happened to her, let her take over. With that settled, I continued on to work.

I heard a woman screaming and reasoned that she must be in distress. I offered her assistance that she gratefully accepted. In doing so I offered assistance to a fellow human being in distress. That it was a woman who needed my assistance was incidental. I would do the same for a man in distress. I did not view her as a damsel in distress. Hardly, she put herself at risk in chasing a mugger on behalf of a stranger. I happened to be on the scene when this little crisis erupted and chose not to remain a bystander. This does not make me noble or gallant; just someone extending a little kindness to a fellow human being in need. I like to think most people would do the same if confronted with a similar situation, not so they may be lauded as heroic, but because it is the right thing to do.

If you view my published writings you will find I am an equal opportunity critic when it comes to religions. Most of my analysis and criticism is directed at the Abrahamic faiths. While I am not shy about directing criticism at religion, I look for the good in religion and religious folk. I give credit where it is due. The reality is we live in a world where great swaths of humanity practice one religion or another. I interact with religious folk in my daily life as a gay man. I live openly as here in Canada every citizen is equal before the law and discrimination on the grounds of creed and sexual orientation is against the law. Moreover, in Canadian society tolerance is a principle by which we live.

Chechnya is a state in the Russian Federation. Sunni Islam, its scripture and traditions is the foundation on which Chechen society is organized. Currently, the Islamic clerics who determine social policy decided God and His Messenger demand that Chechen society rid itself of gay men. A pogrom is under way and there are reports of torture and killings of men suspected of being gay. This is more than immoral; it is criminal. Yes, religion is behind this gross abuse of human rights and the religion is Islam. I am doing nothing wrong in pointing this out and condemning it.

In doing so, I am neither pointing my finger at every Muslim across the world nor inciting bigotry or violence against Muslims. I have observant Muslims among my friends who see what is going on in Chechnya and condemn it. They are just as appalled as any reasonable person is at this deplorable conduct. This in no way represents their expression of the faith.

Beyond that, if this were happening in a neighbouring state in the Russian Federation where Orthodox Christianity is the dominant faith and whose clerics incited a pogrom against gay men, I would condemn it without hesitation. I would not care if the religious sensibilities of Christians across the world were offended either. Religious belief, no matter how passionately kept, does not justify such flagrant abuse of human rights.

Recently I struck up an informal acquaintanceship with a young Mormon Missionary whom I met on the bus as I rode home from work. He is nearing the end of the two years of missionary work young Mormon men are required to undertake. He was seated by himself across from me on the bus so I asked if he were alone, noting Mormon missionaries usually travel in pairs. He replied that his colleague was seated nearby. During the ride along Bronson Avenue to my stop we had a discussion about faith and Mormonism. I am familiar with Mormonism, having studied religion at university and through my acquaintanceship with ex-Mormons. My young acquaintance was duly impressed with my knowledge of his faith and accepted that I am not interested in converting. This came as no surprise to me; Mormons are generally good people. When the bus reached my stop, I bid him good day and thanked him for the discussion. He responded in kind.

Two weeks later, we met again on the bus and resumed the discussion. He told me he found our first discussion inspiring. It was just ahead of Easter and I told him though I am no longer practicing Christianity, I keep Easter in my own way. Easter resonates with me as it makes me think of loved ones who are no longer alive. It helps me keep their memory alive. We parted company once more as the bus reached my stop. I find myself hoping he and I will meet again some day as he is a charming young man and open to discussion of different ideas concerning his faith.

Gary Burlingame was my friend, my very good friend. We became friends in 2009 when he saw fit to send me a friend request on Facebook. I don’t know what inspired him to do so, but am ever so happy he did. I accepted his friend request and with a little trepidation texted “hi there” to him on Facebook chat. I was not sure he would respond, but he did and from that moment on we were in contact regularly. We became such good friends because we had so much to talk about and found we could confide in one another. Gary was a kind, generous and thoughtful man and a loving husband and father. His work ethic and love of life were second to none. His lengthy battle with multiple myeloma and emphysema involved ongoing treatments and the discomfort they caused him. He took it in stride; it did not stop him from putting in the hours on his job, being the loving husband to Marilyn and father to their son Gene.

I enjoyed hearing his anecdotes about work (he worked from home) and his life with Marilyn and Gene. Among other things, Gary enjoyed attending the hockey and baseball games featuring the minor league teams in Bellingham with Marilyn. Gene played hockey as a boy. He was a goalie. Gary told me about the good times he had going to Gene’s hockey games and tournaments. Gary enjoyed folk dancing with a group of people in a club. I remember him telling me he once took Gene as a baby to the folk dancing club and danced with Gene in his arms. I asked him with tongue planted firmly in cheek if this made Gene spit up on him. He assured me this did not happen.

Gary and I shared a love of the outdoors. He had a passion for hiking and viewing wildlife and regaled me with tales and photographs of his time spent in the parks and trails in and around Bellingham. I must admit I experienced the slightest twinge of envy when he told me about walking along the seashore. I live in Ottawa, Canada a long way from the seaside. I hoped someday to see the Pacific Ocean so imagine my delight when Gary extended me an invitation to come visit. I happily accepted his invitation and made the trip in August 2012. I remember promising Gary that when I arrived at Vancouver International Airport and spotted him in the terminal I would give him a bear hug. Gary was a little concerned. What would people think. I told him I could not care less what anyone thought and kept my promise giving him a bear hug in the middle of the terminal.

Gary and Marilyn, my gracious host and hostess, and their son Gene welcomed me into their home. Gary had a full and exciting itinerary prepared for me. We hit the ground running. The day I arrived and after I settled in, we went to the stable where he volunteered. The stable offers horseback riding as therapy for children with autism. Volunteering at the stable was a manifestation of Gary’s kindness and generosity. Before I returned home Gary and Marilyn took me touring in Bellingham, hiking in the forests surrounding Bellingham and for a walk along the seashore at low tide. We went shopping and I found some great books at an antiquarian book shop. I went to the folk dancing club with Gary and enjoyed watching the various dance steps. Gary and Marilyn’s guest room has a number of book shelves with an interesting collection volumes. I am a librarian, so browsing their library collection kept me occupied well into the night after we all retired for the evening. I am so happy we had this time together.

Gary and I continued our friendship over Facebook, chatting almost daily in the years following my visit. Toward the end of his life I knew his condition had worsened, but remained hopeful he would rebound and beat back the cancer once more. The last time we chatted was two days before his death. I was performing in a play and he congratulated me on its success. I wished him good health. Gary left us the way he lived: a kind and thoughtful man. Together with Marilyn, Gene and the rest of his extended family, Gary leaves behind many friends who knew and loved him as I do. While I miss him terribly, I find solace that Gary lives on in the memories I keep of our friendship and the time we had together. Gary was a good and decent man and I have no doubt he left us looking back with satisfaction on a life well lived. May he rest in peace.