Is there madness in method?

I recently revisited the Martin Scorsese film King of Comedy. I saw it in its original run in the early 1980s, and it was and is a difficult film to watch. What struck me in King of Comedy was the uncompromising attitude of Rupert Pupkin, the aspiring comic who thought an appearance on the Jerry Langford Show was his ticket to stardom. Despite Langford telling him when they met by chance that you only get onto a network television show when you have experience, Rupert was convinced that did not apply to him. He was sure of himself and his standup act, having practiced in his mother's basement for years, that he was ready for the big time. The Langford Show's producers listened to Rupert's audition tape and told him he had "a good potential" and to call them back when he had experience, and they would consider having him on the show. There is no free lunch in any industry, least of all in entertainment. If you want to succeed, you have to start at the bottom and apply yourself. Even then, nothing is guaranteed. Indeed, it helps if you are talented, but as David Niven famously observed, what you need more than anything to succeed as an actor is "luck." Luck plays a big part, but it is reasonable to think that with training and experience, you can succeed in the entertainment industry.

It is painful to watch Rupert Pupkin's ill-fated efforts to start at the top as a comic because he misread Jerry Langford's intentions so egregiously. Langford told him to call his office, only to get rid of him as a pest. Rupert took him at his word and tried calling Langford's office, but the calls were not returned. A reasonable person would understand and accept that they were uninterested and let it go. I remember when I started stage acting, there was a theatre company I wanted to join. I contacted the artistic director, expressing my interest in joining the company. He responded, offering me the opportunity to help construct the set for a production. I jumped at the opportunity. It was my chance to impress them and receive an offer of membership in the company--so I thought. I toiled away diligently, helping build the set. Following the completion, the company entered a theatre challenge. I asked if I could participate and was told that they had already chosen their team, and they thanked me for my interest in their company as they cut me loose. I served my purpose in helping build the set, and I was no longer useful to them. I misread their intentions and was left with egg on my face. It was a disappointment. However, I got the message and moved on—other opportunities followed in the years ahead.

In the last two years, before retiring from my job in a university library, I enrolled in night classes for a screen acting course. Upon graduation from the screen acting program and with the sponsorship of the artistic director, I got representation with a talent agency. I continue training as an actor and look for auditions as my agent pitches for me and the other actors on the roster. I work on film projects for no pay for the chance to gain experience in front of the camera. I audition, hoping for the booking, and know not to take it personally when rejected. Sure, there are times when I doubt my ability as an actor. It is easy to fall into the trap of all or nothing. My sister calls it the "You're Brad Pitt or you're nothing," a pessimistic outlook. Compare and despair plagues me as much as I try not to let it get me down. It is hard not to feel I failed when I see younger actors enjoying success that I have not achieved. But I remember the praise from acting instructors and film directors for my talent. It is a competitive business, and you are edged out repeatedly in auditions by other actors. It does not mean you are not a good actor. If you want to achieve, you must press on, go to auditions, and get bookings when possible. That way, you are an actor, a part of the culture and the industry, and will leave your mark.

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