Beatus vir

Beatus vir: a short story by Geoffrey Wale

Neville, you are my friend and colleague. You are a God-fearing and rational man. Our friendship goes back many years. As my friend and one who shares my faith in Christ and the Church, I want to talk to you about something deeply personal and troubling for me. In sharing what I say, I risk betraying another's confidence. A student in my course on Thomistic philosophy called on me during office hours. He wanted to go over a point I raised in a lecture. As we discussed it, I noticed he was distracted; something was bothering him. I asked if he was alright, and he hastily told me everything was fine. Unconvinced, I pressed him gently and Socratically for the truth. Eventually, he broke down and confided in me that he had an experience that defied a rational explanation. I assured him that what he shared with me would be kept confidential. He then related to me his experience. I was shaken to the core. What he described was virtually identical to the experience I had in my first year in the seminary.

Can I have a glass of sherry? Thank you. I was eighteen years old and in my first year in the seminary. I was sure of my Vocation; the priesthood was my calling. One evening, it was hot and humid as I reviewed my notes from a lecture on Aristotlean logic. I had stripped down to my Bermuda shorts. Suddenly, a feeling came over me like nothing I experienced before. It was like I was caught in a whirlwind and an altered state of consciousness. I felt a sensation of agony and euphoria at the same time. I felt that my heart would give out. As I was suspended in that state of consciousness, I saw the Five Holy Wounds appear on my body. As quickly as the feeling came over me, it vanished, and I was left trembling and gasping for breath on the floor of my room. I was terrified. I could not explain what happened and feared I may have had a psychotic break from reality or the first symptom of schizophrenia. I am familiar with the hagiographies of various saints who were said to have had such experiences but maintained a healthy skepticism. I feared that no one would believe me if I told anyone what had happened. Worse, I feared that my Vocation might be called into question.

I buried the memory of the event in the following years as I completed my studies in the seminary, where I excelled academically. As you know, the Archdiocese sponsored me to continue my studies, and I earned a Doctorate in Thomistic Studies. I have been on the faculty for thirty years and have published many books and articles. My faith is secure despite being rocked by the scandals of the 1980s and 1990s in the institutional Church. I am dedicated to scholarship and the education of young minds. In that regard, I want to talk to you about the young man whose confidence I took. His name is Atticus Park. He comes from a Catholic family, and while his Vocation is not in taking a Holy Order, he is a faithful and gifted student in philosophy and theological studies. He has excellent potential as a Catholic scholar. Atticus is troubled as he can neither explain nor understand what happened to him, just as I could not when it occurred to me as a young man. I am at a loss as to what to tell him. I am reaching out to you because of your expertise in Catholic mysticism and the fact that you have taken part in investigations into these types of religious experiences for the Archdiocese. I would appreciate any insight you can offer.

John, would you like another sherry? I will have one, too. Yes, I studied Catholic mysticism extensively and have participated in investigations into the kinds of religious experiences you and your student were involved in. I understand how distressing it was for you both. I can testify to your character and sanity as your friend and colleague. From what you told me about your student, it is doubtful that he has a mental disorder. Yes, his reputation as a sharp student precedes him. In my inquiries into claims of visions, locutions, the stigmata, Marian apparitions and the like, I concluded that none were authentic. The claimants either made them up in seeking attention or needed psychiatric care. That is not to say there may not be genuine instances of such phenomena. Catholic teachings hold that we strive for spiritual progress toward an ever more intimate union with Christ. I do not doubt you experienced something profoundly intimate and challenging to comprehend. "The Lord works in mysterious ways," goes the adage. The two of you share a bond in your related experiences. You see something of yourself in Atticus, his devotion and academic prowess. You were right to keep your experiences to yourselves and rest assured that what we discussed here today will remain with us. No, you did not betray his confidence. It may signify that you are meant to guide him in his spiritual development and academic career. Honestly, there is nothing to worry about.

Thank you, Neville. It is such a relief to release that burden. Yes, yes, I will talk with Atticus and ask if he would consider being my protege. Thank you for the sherry and your insight. Clarity goes a long way, and I trust your wisdom and judgement.